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Eva Green


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Emily cried buckets of tears last night, so I asked her to paint my nails, an activity that always cheers her up. (Not that you asked, but the color is Revlon ~Plum Seduction~ and it's punchy as hale.)

I delicately flipped on Lifetime (it and LMN and Sex and the City are my latest guilty pleasures, God help me).
LO AND BEHOLD:

THE SECRET(WHICH I ( Read more... )

As the result of serendipity, I guess, it has fallen on me to provide Emily with The Talk, although so far it is more like The Talk: The Miniseries ( Read more... )

I never know, anymore, when my dad says something offensive and I am just not having it and I turn to yell at him-my voice loud and unclear and stumbling and not backing down-at whom I'm yelling. Because whenever he makes a gay joke and expects me to laugh-when he says, and I quote, "Cut, starve, I don't care," he turns into

• Everyman
• who ever slowed ( Read more... )

I haven't slept in two days!

I have a hair appointment at nine.

I'm going to fall asleep in the salon chair, aren't I?

11:18 a.m.: I'm back! I fell asleep more than once in the car and barely made it through my haircut. Whatever, I look good.


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Would you like to know what I do? This is what I do: I grab strangers by the lapels and beg, "Objectify/humanize me!"

My libido finally woke up. It's groggy, but it's conscious. Whatever, Catherine. You are nineteen. Go have sex or something.

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
Did he go away and leave you all alone?
I got a bad desire
Oh-oh-oh, I'm on fire

Fellow feminists, what am I doing wrong?

And now for something completely different:


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